Letter to a New Mom
May 5 2008 | Views 674 |
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Tags: parenting cosy place different feeling stage in life new mom
Tags: parenting cosy place different feeling stage in life new mom
Hello Seetha,
Yesterday after the phone conversation, I sat and thought about you. I could very well understand the phase you are passing through, because I had also gone through the similar phase two years back.
Yes. You are a “New Mom”. And all your worries and anxieties are universal. I mean these things are faced by each and every mom. At least all the Moms whom I know.
Getting pregnant and being a mom is a wonderful stage in life. Even though there is pain and suffering, every woman tend to enjoy this period in one way or other and cherish those good moments all through her life.
The day when we came to know that we are pregnant, we will have a different feeling. The thought that a new life is inside us will make us feel very alert and conscious in what ever we do. Then start the waiting period. We will wait for the d-day to come. We expect that everything will be fine once the bay comes out in to this world.
But things take a different turn when he comes out. He will make our life upside down. He will sleep happily in the morning and we will sit and wait for him to wake up, which he will not. We will not sleep at night. Once awake, will start screaming. We will be searching for the cause of the scream.
We will be in a mood to sleep then and he will be crying to the end.
Our worries start here. Whether he is ill ? Or is he hungry ? I think my milk is not enough for him. Should I give him something else to drink. Will that be fine if I give him some baby food ? Is he feeling cold ? or hot ? Why is he crying ? on top of that I am feeling damn sleepy . I am tired also . Yesterday also I didn’t get a proper sleep etc etc ..The list continues.
Just for a moment think from baby’s side. Till today, he was in a comfortable place where he got whatever he want at what ever time he needed. It was a warm and cosy place. He didn’t have to bother about anything. Just enjoy those days.
Now it is a new world for him. He is trying to adjust to these new surroundings. Everything is new to him. Inside the womb, he got whatever he wanted automatically. Here if hungry, he need to cry, then his mother will take him and will give him milk. That also will not come automatically .HE will have to suck hard to get some milk. And ha, the climate. It varies. Inside, it was too cosy always. Now sometimes it is hot, sometimes it is cold. Etc etc… this is the picture from baby’s side.
However, he will adjust to all these and will learn to do each and everything slowly. From day one, he is learning and learning. He will learn to suck milk. He will learn to respond to his feelings. He will know who is his mother, father. And also adjust to his surroundings.
Similarly my dear friend, you will also have to adjust to all these and learn about this phase.
“When a baby is born, A mother is born “
So this is a new life to you. A new life where in you will be learning so many things day by day. Learnings from a day will help you in the second day. But again on the second day, you will learn yet another thing. In this way, for the past two years I have been learning , learning and still is learning.
Some things which I have learned am quotting it for you. Just in case you find this of help.
1. When the baby is crying , don’t panic. Be patient and slowly talk to him and take him in your hands. Hold him tight to your body. He will enjoy your warmth and also will feel very relaxed with the sound of your heart beat. Because that was the sound which he used to hear when he was inside.
2. Sing to him. Songs have a magic effect of soothing. Even we realize that and we also become relaxed when we hear songs. Similarly babies settle down fast when we song to them. Don’t worry about our voice. Whatever be the voice we have, babies love the songs which come from their mothers mouth.
3. Talk to him for long time. Whenever you get a chance, talk to him. He might not understand all what you say. But he will have that bonding which will develop with you.
4. Touching and Massaging. Do small massaging in baby’s body. After sucking milk, his cheeks will all be tired and will be paining. Remember, he has to struggle a lot for sucking milk. Also hands and legs , and all though the body, do small massages. Touch Therapy. It has a great effect. Try this.
Over all, be confident and realize that you know your baby more than anyone else and whatever you do will be the best for him. Have this feeling in mind and enjoy your days. Enjoy singing to him, talking to him, enjoy putting him to sleep, enjoy dressing him and above all, enjoy being with him.
Wishing you a happy days ahead
Your loving friend
Sunaya
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